A Day in My Life! (3rd of May, 2016)

Last May 3, 2015 was a quite jampacked day for me. My usual routine of waking up 2 PM in the afternoon was disrupted since I have some errands to fulfill. So, I shpt up from my bed by 9 AM and prepped up quickly to have a quick CAT alumni visit my alma matter wherein I graduated from - CSCQC. I found some of my co-officers setting up the obstacle course for the current trainees aka our successors. 

cto: Emie 

cto: Haciam

After watching the trainees cross each stations of the obstacle and catching up with my co-officers, the time has come for me to go ahead since I have to drop by at Spazio (Ver's place) for a short Cellgroup session together with the PPM members. 

Surprisingly, when I got there, Ver asked me to accompany her at TriNoMa. I wasn't reluctant to say yes, but my concern is if I'll be allowed. It was already 5 PM that time so we'll probably be home late once I'll go with her. I can say that I was lucky to get my Mom's permission when she allowed me to go. (Hooray cray cray!) 

But the thing is, I no longer have any extra money with me since I bought something before going to Spazio and my Mom's rule is once I go home, I am not allowed to go out anymore. Therefore, I was urged to borrow money to goody-good bestfriend/sister, Ver and she only has 500 pesos that moment. It was now or never, we'll be going to the mall and that's all we have. #KiddosWithTightBudgetProbs Ver used her Mom's phone to have an UBER car pick us up and we were good to go. 

During our stroll, we shamelessly took some funky snapshots together as if we weren't at the mall at all. 

#Thuglyf

The most challenging part is the amount of budget we have for all the items we wanted to buy plus our food! I wanted to buy a highlight and contour palette costing only 200 pesos or less since that's only my portion to Veronica's 500, but I failed to find one because they cost around thousand or less at the cosmetics section. Thus, I just bought a makeup palette from Nichido with a free lip blush costing only a hundred PHP. 

Shopping is really my cardio and it was really difficult and heartbreaking for me seeing a product I wanted to purchase but being obliged to leave it to its counter because my pockets were empty that time. Ver even weighed in a life-and-death situation to me by asking, "Liquid foundation or fries?" 

"What the heeeeck" is all I could say. That first time (going to the mall having only 200 pesos to spend) was an incredible savage for me but helluva fun at the same time. I realized the ultimate importance of money and how every peso matters. 

We stopped over Mister Donuts to grab something to munch on since the monsters in my stomach are already getting grumpy. 

Classic Bavarian and Chocolate Bavarian for two gals who's playing the #RickKunwari game too strong. 

We just strolled and waited for those guys we were about to meet. This bestfriend of mine just met them through LoL (League of Legends) and they were talking for quite long now so they just decided to meet. 

After a couple of hours vlogging and window shopping, we headed to Taco Bell to meet them up, and here they are: 

Alright, meeting them was the most awkward situation of my life since I don't have an idea who they are but fortunately, they turned out to be harmless and friendly. Their parents were also present and they treated us some food as well so it was an unexpected good time. 

Another first time for me is staying at Trinoma with some of its store preparing for lights-off. It was already 10 PM that time! My goodness. But being with this girl is hilarious, we just enjoyed the rest of our time together. It was as if we weren't around a public place and treated Trinoma as our playground. Here's a capture from our video: 

To sum up the entire day, I had a thumping good time! Money doesn't really matter when it comes to hanging out. If you want to brighten your day, it is dependable upon the person you're with, not with the amount of money you have on your pockets. Just like what I always say,  "Good company, good life." 

Thank you, Big G! I am always grateful for those times I get to spend in this planet and genuinely having an awesome memory out of it. Ahhh, simple pleasures in life. 

'Til my next post, 

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Getting Up Little by Little

Hello from the other sideee! Mickey G here. This status quo post is basically my answer to those, "How are you?" questions I get a lot so far from my friends. I guess they are reading some of my previous posts here and figured out that I'm not alright. Well, folks. I have already started coping up with my situation. Maybe the PST (Positive self-talk) quickened up the process. As what the title suggests, I'm getting up now little by little. 

Last April 28 was my first time get my feet at DCLC (Dr. Carlos Lanting College) which is my soon-to-be school for Senior high. I was with my Mom that time and we immediately proceeded to the enrollment. One thing I could say? I lurrrveee the facilities. It's not actually a prestigious school for elites but their facilities and maintenance are pretty decent compared to my former school. They do have an elevator and even though the school isn't as colossal as a university, the rooms are great because they are airconditioned. TBH, I find it big deal nowadays because I find it difficult to digest the lessons if my environment isn't well-ventilated; the sweltering heat serves as a distraction for me. 

When I took the exam, AHHH SABAW ALL THE WAY! it has been a long time since I faced a test questionnaire and I hate because when I got home and managed to remember some of my answers then checked if they're correct via internet, damn honey, this just became my initial reaction: 

Seriously, I kinda messed it up. I have forgotten the basics! I wanna whack my head off that moment. I guess vacations really stultifies me especially when I basically do nothing ever since graduation except to surf the net and to run... out of money. (Would you mind laughing to that joke? Ahright. Thank you.) Anyway,PST is always efficacious when it comes to battling self-consciousness and overthinking. 

Therefore, I relinquished a deep sigh and convinced myself, "That's okay girl. Maybe it just proves that there's still a lot for you to know." And yeah, that means hooray-cray-cray more vacancies for my rooms for improvement. 

I am really stoked with what course of events and opportunities I'll have once the new school year starts. I don't have an ample amount of idea how senior high curriculum shall go since we are the first batch to experience that fresh educational program in this country. But no matter what is in store for me, either be terrible or awesome, one thing remains constant: I'll show everyone who really am I and I'll keep slaying. Goodluck to myself and to my batchmates! 

PS: Here are examples of a PST cheat sheet in case somebody wants to have an attitude makeover. 

A positive thought a day, shoves all the bad vibes away!

Spreading purple hugs and kisses, 

Keep in touch! 

instagram: http://www.instagram.com/mickeygorgygil

Ttwitter: http://www.twitter.com/mickeygorgygil 

Facebook: http://facebook.com/IAMYOUrHEROINEMICKEYCORTEZ

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Two Wounds

Whenever we tend to be a little careless and trip over something, consequently making us fall on our knees, there's a large catch of possibility for us to: 

A. Get hurt 
B. Get Wounded 
C. Be Sprained 
D. All of the above

A single wound can inflict so much pain on our system, regardless of our tolerance level. Others may seem tough and belittle that wound, but somehow it would still ache. Specially during the healing process in which you are to disinfect the wound and let an alcohol run through it- and it stings like the way memories hit you. 

Tackling its figurative side, that wound actually represents a BREAKUP, which hurts and takes time to heal. In the end, these wounds will turn into scars which could be no longer obvious but they leave an indelible spot on your body. 

Meaning, we cannot really take these breakups off our minds. They cannot be totally forgotten, even if we have already moved on. Some scars aren't removable and we just have to learn to live with them. 

But the question is: 
What if you have gotten a wouned you are trying so hard to endure and heal but not after a long time, you had another one? 

Worst case scenario: It's bigger and greater than the preceding wound - A FRIENDSHIP BREAKUP. This is probably the most crestfallen type of breakup that anybody could experience. Well, it depends if your former lover holds more importance than your best pals, but of course for the majority it's the latter which matters more. Therefore, a friendship taking its toll tends to be more painful than having a guy/girl end things with you. 

Recently, I just had that terrible experience. 

Another night of trembling lips, brimming tears cascading down my cheeks and feeling something breaks inside of me. I am still in a healing process of a wound in my heart and yet here comes another one. This is not to ask for sympathy but now I am scared to get attached with people because once they opt to leave, you would feel that something inside of you bursts and dies at the same time. It's just scary and you would feel that paranoia when somebody comes to your life, then they will just leave no matter how much you gave your best just to make 'em stay. 

I have no one to run to. At the very moment I felt so alone. But of course, I know to myself that my mind is overthinking just because of seemingly interconnected series of unfortunate events  I AM NOT ALONE. 

i HAVE HIM. I have our God the highest. He never leaves, He never left and He never will. 

Oh, something crossed my mind that night; my fellow member from our ministry, PPM has read an excerpt from a devotional book she is currently reading: 

"When important individuals go away, we are sad, until we see that they are meant to go, so that the only thing left for us to do - to look into the face of God for ourselves"

I asked her then, "How can I apply this the last line? (to look into the face of God for ourselves) She answered my query right away, "Just spend time with God, seek His face alone, and just desire to be with Him. Remember: His ways are higher than our ways." 

I decided then to put my phone aside and had a one-to-one encounter with God - I solemnly prayed without any distractions and before I can even process a thought, the tears just kept on flowing like a rivulet. However, I still managed to be sensitive with His voice - even more sensitive than the usual. 

Me: God, why do those people choose to leave me? 

God: Because they aren't meant to stay in your life. Their purpose on you has ended but it doesn't mean you are alone and you have to stop living up to your own purpose.. Don't keep a blind eye to the other blessings you have. There's so much more to life than those problems. 

 In case you are wondering, this is not a kind of weird, extended hallucinations but yeah I can hear His voice. If you do not buy that fact, grab a chair and wait for me to care. (JK)

At that moment, when I felt "nothing" because those important people are now gone in my life, His greatness lifted my spirit up and replaced that "nothing" with "everything" I became uncharacteristically optimistic and I was filled with unwavering resilience. It feels so good that I can really feel that these circumstances are under His will. He wanted me to desire more of Him and Him alone, so He cut off the distractions along my journey of seeking His kingdom.

It also made think about my parents and how lucky I am still to have them. I can actually tolerate if everyone leaves me, but I can't if my parents will no longer be by my side. I realized how much I should love them because at the end of it all, they will be the ones who will care and make me feel that I am worth it and loved. 

If I were to visualize myself that night, it was like I was kicked and drowned to the sea of complexities and suddenly I had an anchor and that made me get myself out of the major fuss. I confidently stood up amidst the disaster and thought, "Hey! These experiences are ought to make me better! Not to get me stuck in a place wherein I will not grow and will constantly blame the world for my existence." 

Maybe I just have to learn lessons the hard way. These wounds are blessings in disguise and I should just probably just stop touching them to have an ability to cope up immediately..I am still fortunate enough compared to others. My Mom consoled me yesterday and we had a good session of parental talk, I felt more driven and fueled to achieve my goals in life. I suddenly want to get out and explore the realms of world. I want to make those people realize that their absence in my life isn't the end of me.

I will still keep on slaying, peeps. *Gives flying kisses*   

    Love lots,

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When Demons Strike: An Open Letter to Myself

I have started jotting this down at exactly 3:50 AM last night. Random ramblings like this will keep on preventing me to have fitful slumber if they aren't expressed. Some thoughts are meant to run wild once in a while.  

Dearest MACG,

           Oh look at you. Those demons are roaring loud, infusing insecurity on your system. I guess aside from caffeine, they possess so much more power to keep you wide awake while indulging with self-hate..Yes, you may seem exuberating with a gargantuan confidence whenever you expose yourself to the world and to the people surrounding you, but little did they know that going to sleep is a struggle for you because your  insecurity is such a big, fat opportunist and it screams the loudest at that point wherein you are preparing for dozing off. Then those demons lurking in the dark will slowly ruin your eunoia. 

16 years of existence. 5'2 in height. Average looks. Not-so-pleasing personality but got a badass dose of confidence whenever needed but your attitude is really a flop. Well, you do have a bunch of youngsters who admire you, and you somehow feel appreciated all at once. They would go cray about your appealing looks (according to them) and writing or speaking skills (though you're far cry from a pro), they would go stalk you, shower consecutive likes on your photos, and message you telling how beautiful you are but after a week or so they would just disappear and you would find them admiring someone else who's better than you. 

And you're just there, proceeding with life though it might have felt pretty bad that it was just a momentary admiration. In a sudden you would go compare yourself with some other girls at your age who reap a lot of achievements as soon as you age. You would see a picture of them parading their success, going to a place you've been wanting to be at but you cannot because you are restricted, hanging out with their beloved squad, and showing so much affection with their boyfies and all. It will make you realize how much you don't have.

Now you will compare the amount of likes they get compared to yours (ridiculous but that's just how you are) and you would use that as a basis for your beauty and worth. You're not famous, you're not as fabulous and gorgeous you think you are. 

Who even do you think you are? You are nothing but just a speck of dust in this universe. Nobody really loves you, that's why they don't stay. Your friends left you, your lover did too. Maybe because there's really something wrong with you or maybe you're just not the type of person who people will have a likely disposition to gravitate to. You are better off alone. Because nobody would rather be with you who's an angel with a halo at start with those heart-eyed emoticons but later on you will turn into a selfish bitch who doesn't really have a genuine care for them. That's what really you are. You expect people to deal with that? Well, you are not the "Oh-damn-she's-so-pretty-af" kinda gal that others would endure being with despite her bitchy attitude so don't be that delirious. 

You want to be a stewardess? Damn girl you don't even have a nice set of teeth and your height sucks. Look at your body. Just wish you luck that you would grow taller. taller through the years but how would that hapoen if you don't even grind? Furthermore, your irregular sleeping pattern is a bummer to that dream of yours. Look at your body, oh girl do you even have a butt? Ha-ha. Better start working out or you will be never deemed sexy in this generation. 

More of these thoughts will hit replay on your head. (Insecurity intensifies) You would turn to Him who has become the sole reason of your existence. "God, why did you even create someone as useless as me? I don't even have a talent. I can't do anything but eat, sleep and surf the net for the rest of my days. I can't go somewhere else I wanted my sould to be at. We're not even that rich to get what I want. I'm just nothing but an average individual. When will you start revealing my purpose do I can start working on it now so that the span of my years living here will be lessened?" 

That's what you rant to God everytime these insecurities attack you. Not good to know that a gal like you who has that deep sense of connection with Him will have those thoughts running, but you're just being honest to Him. You've been feigning your confidence for way too long and you can't keep that forever. 

Actually, you don't blame others for being better than you, instead you blame yourself for being not good enough - nothing but a mediocre. 

These pessimism-subjected thoughts would go play in a loop until they gradually fade. Self-doubt, inferiority and insecurity will tuck themselves on every part of your brain. But let me just remind you of those lines you've submitted on your high school yearbook as your life mantra: 

EMBRACE THE GLORIOUS MESS THAT YOU ARE; NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT. 

(C) tumblr.com

Live up to those thoughts, okay? You have to realize your worth. Oh darling you badly need to because you are amazing. You really are, believe me. But you being stubborn, I know you won't still be convinced because you need someone else to attest that claim. 

You say you are better off alone but deep inside of yours, you just need someone whose love will roar louder than those demons. You need someone who will constantly remind you how beautiful you are inside and out and you are always worth it. 

You are a marvelous person and the only way to go is forward always put that in your heart, mind and soul. Do not measure your value with this current society's gauge. And please, do not place your worth in someone's tendency to stay. They will leave because they aren't meant to stay in your life. Not because there's something wrong with you.

If someone wants to be a part of your life, they will simply be without any reasons nor excuses at all. Likewise, some friends who are better off without you should be left as they are. You cannot please them to have you back in their lives. Just deal with it, darling. Maybe a new set of pals will come on your way and they are a better company that the previous one. Treat those people who left you with good riddance. 

So keep your head up, keep your heart strong. Damn, you didn't let anybody else give themselves a consent to feel like an inferior, but you gave one to yourself. Keep those eyes open, will you?! You got a couple of amazing parents by your side and you will always be a princess to them. Your family is such a gem, get yourself up from the pool of negativities so you won't keep a blind eye to those blessings which God is showering you with. What you have is just enough, darling. You are just asking for more. But please, just don't. All you gotta do is wait and chill for more blessings impending your way. Don't rush nor give in to eagerness. 

Something life-changing will eventually uplift your spirit, Alright? Just for once, take a moment and kick those demons away by yourself. Be appreciative for what you have.

Lastly, 

Patience. 

Patience. 

Patience. 

A lot more patience. 

Loving you so dearly, 

-*-*-*- 

Damn that felt so good. *Sighs in huge relief* 

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Summer Escapade at 8 Waves!

The summer's sweltering heat is apparently getting on my nerves. I can barely stand being in my room since the boiling high temperature is making me feel immediately sticky even right after freshening up. So during my Mom's previous birthday, I really gathered my guts and made a favor of spending her celebration in a form of wallowing in a pool somewhere near in Pampanga - her hometown. 

Fortunately, this gal's wish has been fulfilled. We decided to have a summer escapade at 8 Waves Water Park resort located at San Rafael, Bulacan. (Woohoo) What made it more exciting was the fact that my Lolo and some cousins were going to be with us. I was so stoked and all set! 

(#MickeyG's OOTD) Lol 

We got there 30 minutes before it hits 3 PM. Mr. Sun is still invading the sky and I cannot put my skin at risk yet by basking on it so we seized the moment by capturing some pictures first. 

Right after the mini-pictorial sesh, it's now time to change and strut on that swimsuit I've been wanting to clad of. :) 

GGSS Selfies! :) 

My swimwear is the usual two-piece with a classic tropica design but the bottom is a short-type since my parents won't let me expose too much skin. I also had to wear a yellow, see-through cover up because I feel so skimpy sans it. 

(With my Dad) 

(With my Mom) 

The shots above were taken in front of the wave pool. Since my I'm-afraid-to-get-dark radar can still detect Mr. Sun's rays, I decided to skip that pool for awhile and just save it for the night swimming. I I proceed to the covered pool first or the "Lap Pool"as what they call it. 

The lap pool is more like an olympic-sized pool with five divisions. The rightmost part is the shallowest - 4 feet, while the middle part has a depth of 4 and a half feet, and the leftmost part is the deepest with a depth 5 feet.  I was so astounded because the water felt so clean and refreshing, unlike to the other resorts' pools I got into wherein you'd be disgusted to dive deeper of its surface because it seems like a lot of people has already peed on it.Thumbs up for the water quality they have on the pools which I discovered is consistently checked. :) 

 

You know, I cannot stay on the lap pool forever; there's so much more to explore at 8 waves so I disembarked and wandered around. 

I found my two cousins having a thumping good time on the kiddie pool. 

Here's a view of their Safari Pool with a couple of slides - one for adults and one for kiddos. I was a bit disappointed though
because being a wild-eyed lass I am, I always seek for extremes, apparently the slide got no thrill at all. 

Here's their Grotto. Well, there's no much hype on it but a good spot for insta-worthy shots.

The time has come to hit those killah waves we've all been raving about! Here's the most sought after Wave Pool of 8 waves. 

The wave pool with 8 different kinds of waves. 

At first the waves weren't as luscious as I am expecting for, they were tranquil and soft. I even though they wouldn't get more immense and more rippling so I asked one of the lifeguards if they will switch it to its more forceful mode. He said the "real" waves shall start at 7 PM. After an hour of indulging to the wave pool's warm waters (probably because it's more exposed and more people are on it compared to the other pools) while grooving to the oh-so-good music played on the background (rave songs, honey), I couldn't be more delighted. But I just hateeeee the first part of their playlist because its songs remind me of something/someone not worth remembering at all. 

Oopsie, I digress. As the clock hits 7, almost all peeps on the waterpark lump themselves on the wave pool and whoa, the waves have transformed into forceful, crushing and successive. I was shouting all the stresses away as I dauntlessly thrust myself to the rage of waves. My parents were keep on pulling but I insist on telling them I can face the waves by myself. I even went to one of the deepest part of the pool and faced the waves! Haha. The place was filled with colossal cheers and whooping "whoas"

The key to prevent yourself from drowning is to have a good leap as the gigantic waves approach you. Just go against its flow and you'd have the best experience without putting your life at risk. 

Another trick is to stay at the shallow part of the pool and turn your back against the waves. Keep a good sense of back as it seemingly massage your back with the water's force. Make your body intact to where you are or else the water will transport you elsewhere and that would probably hurt.

Good thing the waterpark has a special promo this summer - during Fridays and weekends, you can stay and enjoy the place until 11 PM with a regular fee of 250 Pesos per head. (Children and senior citizen are discounted) 

We enjoyed the rest of our time hitting those waves and melting the heat of summer brings. I wouldn't say it was the best place to have a summer getaway but it wasn't that bad! :)  It was such a good opportunity to flee from the entire stress and bad vibes I constantly had to deal with due to overthinking and roasting weather. 

Thank you, Big G! 

'Til my next adventure,

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